realisation

"How do you say goodbye to someone you can't imagine living without?"
I didn't say goodbye, I didn't say anything.
I just walked away.

My Blueberry Nights

i am stoopid like that.
naive.
rar.

Here comes the sun, sea, and sand! (:

Lang Tengah, in short, consisted of good beach, good food, good company, and plenty of relaxation and tanning. I call it one of the last trips before graduating from university, a little bit more memories plus pictures to add in the memory keeper's university's folder. incidences like spending a little too much time in the airport's mcd resulting in us running like we've never ran through countless terminals to catch our plane just in time; late night charades with chips and coffee, and alot of laughters in between ahem cue shrek, the orphan, alvin and the chipmunks.. having chauffeured around Terengganu town on the last day in a private bus, oh we were so blessed... honestly, I think I valued the company more than anything else. (:

"ok now do fly shot!"

loved the beach.

"emo shot"
haha, I thank God for Ju, my only SS friend.
tsk everyone else don't layan the camera one.

essentials. which weren't really essentials at the very end.

A toast, to a great semester together, and for more memories to come. (:

clearly, I'm distracted from studies. for tonight at least.
arghiosjfoihifuarejofijeriaofjidosjfa.
g'nite.

Here's a sneak video of us playing charades.
It's one of the funnier ones, if you can catch it.
Guess the movie, and post a comment.
(:

The missing brick

Read a fraction of the book, and found thoughts and reflections along the way.
I particularly am fond of this one.


*******

Once, when I and my wife were traveling, I received a fax from my secretary.

'There's one glass brick missing for the work on the kitchen renovation,' she said. 'I'm sending you the original plan as well as the plan the builder has come up with to compensate for it.'

On the other hand, there was the design my wife had made: harmonious lines of bricks with an opening for ventilation. On the other, there was the plan drawn up to resolve the problem of the missing brick: a real jigsaw puzzle in which the glass squares were arranges in a higgledy-piggledy fashion that defied aesthetics.

'Just buy another brick,' wrote my wife. And so they did, and thus stuck to the original design.

That afternoon, I thought for a long time about what had happened; how often, for the lack of one brick, we completely distort the original plan of our lives.

Like the flowing river - Paulo Coelho


******

I don't want to miss a brick.

it's been awhile...

her table's filled with stacks and stacks of jumbled up notes, of auditing, accounting theory... she, poised calm from the exterior, is frantically panicking on the inside, yet the mask conceals well enough, in her little opinion. there's a stack of receipts yet to be accounted for, a list of errands to run, forms to be filled, obligatory meet ups that's long overdue, pictures yet to be edited and upload, unwritten replies to emails that are written from the heart, issues to be dealt with, and four toughest final year final semester papers. Oh, the poker face pulled it quite well indeed, my dear.

Slicing herself a little bit today, she wrote on her little diary/planner: " I've missed you too, you, you who meant that much to me. I admit, it's partially my fault, for the lack of communication between us. It does take two hands to clap, and the string between us is thinning along with crawling days. I'm not slowing down enough to appreciate the beauty of life, the frugality of a friendship, how painstakingly it takes to build a tower, but only mere minutes to destroy it to flakes of dust. Perhaps, life's just throwing too many lemons and apples at me at this time; attempts to make the perfect pint of lemonades out of lemon itself is tough enough, what about the apples? and the peaches, watermelons and soda? One thing at a time, she reminded herself. But would the other things wait, or would situation keep changing at the speed of sound whilst she browse through the other duties in life instead? Maybe some things are damaged to the extent we have to learn to throw it aside, and purchase a replacement instead. She's still not willing to let go, for memories and flashbacks are pain, and the pain is unbearable. no, not at this time, when lemonades must be made out of lemons.... "

the chocolate bar with the wrapper stating p.s. missed you still sits at the corner in the candy filled drawer, every time she slides the drawer open, she's reminded again. and she smiles. it'll be worth it in the end, somehow. oh, time heals? really? she still haven't found truth to that popular statement. time doesn't heal, it just fades memories, which can be recalled through the flick of old pictures, or just an old familiar place. familiarity breeds comfort. she's too used to her comfort zone. needs to learn to throw herself out to the big bad world. toughen herself up, sharpening the knife for war. kit kat bites and lollipops. oreo cheesecakes are temporary cheer givers. oh the rain. the rain is calming. and she pens down, a jumbled up post, with a jumbled up feeling.



Life in Technicolor ii - Coldplay ♫

finding myself, and finding you.

Monash Ball '09

"你那么爱她
为什么不把她留下
是不是你有深爱的两个她
所以你不想再让自己无法自拔.."

revelations. i liked my hair on that day, courtesy of Joanna.
amazed at my ability to tick of tasks in impossible time.
badly in dire need of photoshop.
swallowed a crazy amount of pink pills and kopiko sweet today.
sipping up tea. bubble tea. coffee. caffeine is my best friend.
lil things that touched my heart. made me smile.
i'm not sure of the ending anymore.
can i continue writing the book, and never end it?

i don't live by rules.

rules are made to be broken.

in other words, i twirl rules with my fingers.
:p