Goals

Milestones achieved in September / October —

1. Officially a CPA member 

2.Completed my inaugural 16.8km run

Ah, the satisfaction when you achieve something you've been working hard for.

(:

Self-refinery

In the midst of achieving personal goals.

Gotta hang in there.

exactly a year ago.

"I want to feel happy whenever I get up in the morning. I want someone to talk to all the time, every day, about absolutely anything. I want someone who will take the extrovert out of my introverted self, someone who brings out the best in me. Someone who has the words to make me smile, the jokes to make me laugh, the shoulder for me to lean on and the hand for me to hold. Most importantly, I want someone who will prove to me that love is not a big hype that everyone falls for." - via letters to crushes.com

paradoxical

rainbow colors spinning all together in motion, circular, to be precise. it spins, slowly at first, gaining momentum as it spins, going faster and faster, till everything's a blur.
all you could observe, is a streak of white nothingness.
white, blurred, scarred.
the beautiful colors aren't there anymore.
hidden, beneath that blurred white streak of nothingness.

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now

"So, what's your dreams?" He asked.
"Honestly, I don't know. It's blurry now. Nothing's clear anymore..."

I just want to live life one moment at a time.
For now.
Enjoy the beauty of a sunset, and soak in the hardship of life as a platform to climb.
After all, nothing's definite in life.

this is my story for 2009.

bittersweet. like how the taste of a cup of caramel latte would be. the sweet drizzle of caramel, a swirl of whipped cream, followed by a sip of bitter espresso aftertaste. it's good. but sometimes the bitter after taste lingers on the tongue a little too long for my liking. pop a marshmallow in and you'll be good again. thing is, I don't like marshmallows. period. so I'd rather let the aftertaste linger, and learn to appreciate it. bittersweet, indeed.

Am currently spending a 6 hour transit in Changi Airport, with fast internet connection, and a squishy nice sofa to sit on. I'm thinking of writing a closure for this year, but honestly, my mind is filled with too many random thoughts at the moment. happy I had lou mai kai before I left just cause I was craving for it so much. I'd still wished I'd wake up for dim sum. le sigh.

There were a few specific events that happened this year which were totally unexpected, a change from norm. December marks one of the craziest month ever. Honestly, at this point of time, I'm glad things aren't as bad as it seems, that most things are going the way it should be, like graduating from Monash, and my trip to US of the A. 2010 is definitely going to be exciting, challenging, and hopefully, a fuller year.


.. thank you all, for the birthday messages, the sweet surprises, the lovely gifts, the encouragements, and for simply making a difference in my life just because you guys care. (:

Have a Blessed New Years.

it's been awhile...

her table's filled with stacks and stacks of jumbled up notes, of auditing, accounting theory... she, poised calm from the exterior, is frantically panicking on the inside, yet the mask conceals well enough, in her little opinion. there's a stack of receipts yet to be accounted for, a list of errands to run, forms to be filled, obligatory meet ups that's long overdue, pictures yet to be edited and upload, unwritten replies to emails that are written from the heart, issues to be dealt with, and four toughest final year final semester papers. Oh, the poker face pulled it quite well indeed, my dear.

Slicing herself a little bit today, she wrote on her little diary/planner: " I've missed you too, you, you who meant that much to me. I admit, it's partially my fault, for the lack of communication between us. It does take two hands to clap, and the string between us is thinning along with crawling days. I'm not slowing down enough to appreciate the beauty of life, the frugality of a friendship, how painstakingly it takes to build a tower, but only mere minutes to destroy it to flakes of dust. Perhaps, life's just throwing too many lemons and apples at me at this time; attempts to make the perfect pint of lemonades out of lemon itself is tough enough, what about the apples? and the peaches, watermelons and soda? One thing at a time, she reminded herself. But would the other things wait, or would situation keep changing at the speed of sound whilst she browse through the other duties in life instead? Maybe some things are damaged to the extent we have to learn to throw it aside, and purchase a replacement instead. She's still not willing to let go, for memories and flashbacks are pain, and the pain is unbearable. no, not at this time, when lemonades must be made out of lemons.... "

the chocolate bar with the wrapper stating p.s. missed you still sits at the corner in the candy filled drawer, every time she slides the drawer open, she's reminded again. and she smiles. it'll be worth it in the end, somehow. oh, time heals? really? she still haven't found truth to that popular statement. time doesn't heal, it just fades memories, which can be recalled through the flick of old pictures, or just an old familiar place. familiarity breeds comfort. she's too used to her comfort zone. needs to learn to throw herself out to the big bad world. toughen herself up, sharpening the knife for war. kit kat bites and lollipops. oreo cheesecakes are temporary cheer givers. oh the rain. the rain is calming. and she pens down, a jumbled up post, with a jumbled up feeling.



Life in Technicolor ii - Coldplay ♫

♥

2008, was fantabulous. In short, it was a year of experiences, an eye opening year. Of bidding painful goodbyes to two friends who are very dear to me, taking the risks to start an online business, build new friendships, catching glimpses about the hooks and crooks of working life, growing out of the teenage years, finding out that there are so many grey areas in life, and so many questions have indefinite answers... I learned a lot on coping last year, coping on feeling alone in the world albeit having so many people around you, you know, like the phrase "lost in the crowd". Is it just me? Or does growing older makes you feel like that?

So I've decided, 2009, is going to be fruitful. I've spread myself too thinly over 2008, so this year, I'll aim to focus on the main important things in life, mainly my university's work, final year *groans*. Also, putting in a little more effort in caring for others, and drafting things to do before I hit 21, which leaves me only twelve more months. Also to instill discipline. Discipline. Discipline.

I'll be updating on the bits and pieces of my current summer holidays very soon, on Langkawi, Christmas, my 20th bday, and all other important dates. Currently, I'll stick to my book on bed, with green tea. It's been long since I get a day off to stay in at home to relax like that, and I am, appreciating it while I can.

Currently: Check yes Juliet- We the kings